Creeps and Freaks

In recent weeks there have been a number of girls and women attacked or murdered around Australia. One has to wonder what exactly posesses a person for them to do such a thing. Uncontrollable rage and the individual was in the wrong place at the wrong time? Obsession with the individual and subsequent rage when they turned down their advances? Mental instability which caused them to randomly lash out? Who knows for sure.

What I do know is that I have become increasingly paranoid about being outside alone- even though it should not be this way. I have been approached and I suppose you could say I was assaulted on a train a couple of years back (if being sprayed by a random with cologne/perfume is considered assault). One of the most recent incidents that occurred to me was in broad daylight near a train station in Melbourne's inner west. I was walking home, carrying a free newspaper  (I will admit, I was reading an article as I walked); a man in a sedan (dark navy coloured if I recall correctly) called out to me and asked where a particular road was. I was not 100% sure exactly, but I knew it was at least 3 or 4km away and told him so without leaving the footpath or approaching the vehicle. I didn't conciously decide to stand back, it was all instinct. He then began asking me if I had leg tattoos.... I was wearing tights with embroidered filigree type pattern above the knees... he then asked what I had planned for the afternoon and if I wanted "a ride home". I was shocked not only that he asked, but at the fact he thought it was a legitimate question and that there would be a chance I would agree! I made it clear that someone knew where I was and was expecting me and promptly walked off.

Now I am not saying that this guy was definitely a rapist or would-be murderer, nor am I saying that what I did would have definitely deterred such a person (instead of driving off, if he wanted to do anything he could easily have chased me or followed in his car). What I am saying is to make sure you take precautions when you are out and don't make stupid decisions:

• Never willingly agree to or enter situations outside your control;
• Always keep your phone charged and handy when you are out alone;
• Know your surroundings- safe places, homes that you can seek help from, stores if there are any around, payphones, shortcuts etc;
• Stay in well populated areas when possible;
• Stand well back from a vehicle if asked for directions or tell them you aren't sure;
• Think about items you are carrying and how you could use them as a weapon to defend yourself- eg: metal hairpin, plastic waterbottle (stabbing motion to throat or face and eyes), books, myki (slicing), umbrella, keys, deodorant or hairspray, anything can be a defensive weapon.

Remember to walk with confidence as it is unlikely that you would actually be attacked- but it is better to be prepared. Another point to remember- if someone does try to attack you, your best chance is to get away by any means necessary, throw your purse or handbag away from you- if they want to rob you their focus will be the purse and you will have a chance to run away, if not it may distract them long enough for you to run. Do not try to plead or reason with them. Pleading and reasoning will in most cases enrage them even more, never mention their mother or sister or any female relative- it may sound logical to you to reason with them by saying "imagine/how would you like it if someone did this to your mother/sister"- you do not know their relationships and this could cause them to treat you even worse or commit even worse crimes against you.

If your assailant is a family member or partner, your best option is to leave the situation. Youths can contact Kids Helpline, ReachOut.org or the police in their state. Adults can contact Lifeline, beyondblue or police.

I will close by saying that my thoughts and prayers are with the victims of violent crimes, their families and friends.

Be safe everyone.

Unemployment and Jobseeking.

Statistically, most people will experience a phase of unemployment in their lives. Whether this is by choice, force or circumstance will vary. Personally, my experiences are mostly by circumstance. I completed two degrees and graduated as a Primary Teacher at the end of 2013. During 2014 I worked here and there as a Casual Relief Teacher, though it didn't do much other than keep my nose above water. Then that work dried up toward the end of the year and I was back at square one.

I'm not entirely sure if I had ever fully appreciated the situation of someone who was "unemployed". I lived quite a sheltered childhood- though my family were not by any means well off. They were farmer/graziers and went through their fair share of hardship. When I finished High School, I was working for them on the farm both as an admin girl and out there physically working the animals, in my "spare time" I was doing my Bachelors Degree. Eventually I decided that I wanted to become a Primary School teacher and thought (like many others) that I would find it easy to get a job if I had such a degree. Fast forward through all the pressure of my course and the bullying/ nastiness culture that was evident in of my placements and the university; I graduated and believed (through what I was taught at university) that I would be employed before school went back in January. Reality was, I couldn't find my ancient transcript from the first university I studied (but didn't graduate) at; and so my registration was stalled for some time. Eventually the job listings dried up and I signed with a relief teaching agency. I was busy for some time, though not earning a whole lot; and I was still considered to be "unemployed". Foolishly I thought that it surely wouldn't last past the start of another school year, perhaps if I apply earlier than I did last year I will be more likely to get a job. Wrong again, my chances did not improve and I only had one interview (albeit for two jobs at once), and I didn't get an offer.

Eventually there comes a moment of weakness where you just stop holding out hope that you will get a call for an interview, where you start feeling that your applications are just a pointless endeavor that has been designed to mock you and make you feel worthless. That is one thing that people who have never experienced it can never understand- being unemployed or underemployed is not a "lifestyle choice" regardless of what the government says or what the well off believe. 99% of those receiving welfare are not doing so because they think "I have the best idea, I'll just sit at home and collect welfare. It won't be enough to cover my groceries, rent, AND other bills... but I don't mind choosing between eating and having electricity...", they are doing so because they have no other choice and are desperate to just get by until they have an offer and can make some distance between who they are right now and who they are going to be.

There are times where you feel upbeat and everything will be ok. There are other moments of complete darkness, where you feel like the biggest failure on the face of the planet and when you will want to stay in bed and cry all day. Those are the days that it is most important to get up and keep going. As hard as it is to get up, go outside or to the gym or for a walk in the park, it has to be done. Breathe deeply as you pass by others who seem to have everything that you desperately want. That's another thing you will feel, excruciating jealousy toward other people that manifests itself even if you are deliriously happy for them. My friends announced their engagement and even though I was genuinely happy for them, I was jealous, I have felt that there was no chance of moving anywhere in my relationship until I have a job. Its a fact that he and I are well aware of, and one that is the most devastating to me. I desperately want to start the life I have dreamed of, marriage, travel, children, the whole catastrophe; but at this stage it is looking further away than ever.

Talking about it helps, venting, ranting whatever you want to call it. But until the day a job offer is legitimately on the table, it seems like a pipe dream and a roadblock in life and relationships.